Cheeni Kam Hai

1. To participate in Takeshi’s castle. It’d be awesome to bounce around, push others into muddy waters and just mess around.

2. The day I’d be invited on a cooking show, I’d taste the food and qwackk-thooo it out, saying it’s disgusting. Because I’m tired of watching those people take the first bite and say, “Mmmmmm, it’s delicious!”.

3. Sway my hips onto Emotional Atyachar saying, “I’m a woman on a mission“. Yeah! Continue reading →

Stretching your mind, juices and creeky bones into action, for another stodgy day at work, college or well..wherever. This is how it usually pans out. Most people pop their eyes open, casually check the time and -

a) JUMPPP! Run to the washroom like a crazy baboon is chasing you. You’r late AGAIN. Or,

b) You simply stretch. Ah!

That indulgent stretch - the one that consoles you, cooes into your ear, telling you that you shall brave the world and be back in one piece at the end of the day, and shall reclaim the sanctuary of the unproductive and then stretch your way to deep slumber all over again…Bliss! Continue reading →

My sister just received her driving license today. All she had to do was take driving lessons for 10 days, 2 hours each day. So the driving instructor began teaching and in a business he’s best at, also managed to extort 200 Rupees on the second day of class (even though nothing was to be paid to him).

With the driving test day drawing closer, my sister was a little nervous if she’d clear it. But the instructor was superbly casual about it and on the last day of teaching, ‘informed’ my sister that she will clear the test comfortably and only has to pay some more money to close the deal.

On the day of the test, my sister drove for 45 seconds, paid under-the-table and conveniently cleared the test. She found out all the people were forced to pay up to clear the test as well.

And today, she happily received her driving license. And it will expire only in 2030. Now regardless of whether she unleashes terror on Indian roads or not, well…she’s gonna be driving till year 2030. AND nobody really cares.

Mera Bharat mahaan!

Aamir Khan endorses Incredible India and says he is the brand ambassador of India. Amitabh Bachchan was questioned by the Congress asking if he endorses the 2002 riots; he’d earlier mentioned that he was the ambassador of  Gujarat to promote tourism. And it’s old news about Shiv Sena attacking SRK when he showed compassion towards Pakistani cricket players (and by my understanding, SRK endorsed respectful treatment of people who aren’t specifically friends).

Everybody endorses some view or the other, but only celebs find themselves in the spotlight defending, justifying or apologizing each and everything they say in public (private lives aren’t spared either). But this is the price they pay for all the fame and stardom. Endorsing and speaking out strongly has never really been this difficult…

…Except when it comes to celebrities endorsing consumer products and goods. Celebs who commonly do nothing to improve the brand’s image. Continue reading →

According to this article that I read, 300 million Indians go hungry everyday. And then this article describes how India’s wealthiest are the least generous. Now, I don’t know how accurate these researches and their resultant figures are, but they sure don’t paint a pretty picture in any case.

And then I happened to come across India’s ‘2010 ranking among the top 10 richest people in the world (Mukesh Ambani and Lakshmi Mittal at 4th and 5th spots, respectively). Out of Asia’s top 25, 10 are Indians. And to think that these are the figures of only individuals who have disclosed their assets and pay taxes etc. What about the rich who aren’t counted, because they stash away millions in Swiss banks? Continue reading →

There’s no escaping the ”See everyone who visits your profile” invites on Facebook these days. Makes me wonder why this Profile tracker application is so much in demand in the first place. Seriously. How does it help if I see 10 people who’ve visited my profile? Am I supposed to feel important? Feel special? Loved?!

And it totally plays out differently in my head as well. If I’d notice my profile was viewed by 10 people and not even one dropped a line for me, I’d be tempted to doubt myself and might envy my profile for actually being more interesting than me (And I used to think only humans could be competitors). Continue reading →

Comments form an integral part of the virtual world and there are some similarities that are hard to miss across them. These comments and the web pesonalities behind them, can be roughly classified into the following -

1. The Cognizants - Are one of the first to step in with sensible, value additive comments. They also make appreciative remarks, but only on posts that they truly think are original and interesting. In case of provocation, they may ignore comments or make comebacks with succinct wit and sarcasm.

2. The Docile - Make sure they agree and repeat some content of the article (or of other comments) again. They (over) zealously exclaim, “Good post!”, “Nice read”, “Wow, great post!” regardless of how great the post was anyway. Often, these people comment, Continue reading →

Maya

OooOoOOO Mayaa Maya! O ye hai Maya Maya, ye hai Maya Maya! Ye hai Maya Maya, ye hai Maya Maya!

Maya - Khuda ney tujhey kyun hai banaya?!

UP key logon pey hai ye kaisa saaya?

Daliton par bhi hai kis shakti ka saaya? Continue reading →