Cogito, Ergo Sum

THE GB ( don’t make me faint by telling you haven’t heard of him) is holding a contest for his readers. He has come out with a book by the name of may-i-hebb-your-attention-pliss , details of which can be accessed here.

And woe betide him who said, “There are no free lunches”. For GB here is providing you ( and me ), with a chance to aim for not one but two free lunches. Here’s how you go about it :

1. On your blog, provide a link to this page. (http://greatbong.net/book). Embedding the above picture in your blog would be nice but not needed.

2. Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem. Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This done to make it fair for other movies so that they dont get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay.

3. Tag five friends to do the same.

4. Come over to the comment-space of GB’s post and post your blog’s link so GB can go and read it.

The top post ( decided by GB), gets a free copy of his book. Another winner is decided by a lucky draw. There are other ways to win a prize if you don’t have a blog. For the complete details, go here or just click on the picture on this page.

While I do watch a lot of Hindi movies, my list would be comprising mostly of dialogues from movies that are “so bad that they are good” ( read Gunda, Loha,etc ). So I have restricted myself to the English movies here.

MY TOP 10

1. I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. ( The Godfather (1972) )
   

    

2. Donnie : Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit ?
   Frank : Why are you wearing that stupid man suit ? ( Donnie Darko (2001) )
   

    

3. The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. ( Wall Street (1987) )

    

4. Sorry. Uh, sorry. I, I, I got a little agitated. The thought of, uh, escape had crossed my mind, and then suddenly - suddenly - suddenly I felt like bending the fucking bars back, and ripping out the goddamn window frames and eating them - yes, *eating* them! Leaping, leaping, leaping! Colonics for everyone! All right! You dumbasses. I’m a mental patient. I’m *supposed* to act out! Wait’ll you morons find out who I am! My father’s gonna be really upset, and when my father gets upset, the ground SHAKES! My father is God! I worship my father! ( Twelve Monkeys (1995) )

    

5. Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker. ( Rounders (1998) )
   

    

6. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist ( The Usual Suspects (1995) )
   

    

7. If you hold back anything, I’ll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think you’re bending the truth, I’ll kill ya. If you forget anything, I’ll kill ya. In fact, you’re gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now, do you understand everything I’ve said? ‘Cause if you don’t, I’ll kill ya. ( Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) )
   

    

8. You… you complete me. ( Jerry Maguire (1996) )

    

9. He seems to take pleasure in being mean and brutal. And yet, he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. And Linton’s is as different as frost from fire… Ellen, I AM Heathcliff. ( Wuthering Heights (1939) )

    

10. Am I a nigger? Are we in Inglewood? No… You’re in my home. White people who know the difference between good shit and bad shit, this is the house they come to. Now, my shit, I’ll take the Pepsi challenge with that Amsterdam shit, any day of the fuckin’ week. ( Pulp Fiction (1994) )

    10 already and I just ain’t finished as yet. Think I’ll add 1 or 2 more .

     

11. The truth, Helen, is always the right answer. ( Schindler’s List (1993) )

     

12. Butch Cassidy: How many are following us?
    Sundance Kid: All of ‘em.
    Butch Cassidy: All of ‘em? What’s the matter with those guys? ( Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) )

Since I need to tag 5 of my friends here, I tag :

Sahil Katyal

Lo”v”er Boy

Ankit Agarwal

OnTheGo

Sona

Think I’ll inspire at least some of you lazybones to put up a list

Keep blogging. Ciao.

It was always on the cards. The wedding card that is. But the fates had written their climax even before the story began. Sania Mirza broke off her engagement citing compatibility issues. The issue certainly deserved utmost attention. There is absolutely no doubt about that. Sania, after all, is no run of the mill,average looking ( yeah, KILL ME, you horny douche bags ) tennis player. She was after all the wonder child who b(u)rst onto the Indian scene in 2003 and enamoured the Indian junta as much by her base as her baseline strokes. So, it was no surprise that her break-up was the breaking news in almost all TV News Channels in the morning. And in the afternoon. And in the evening.

The last time I checked, Sania’s neighbour’s daughter’s friend’s rickshaw-wallah’s dog’s personal trainer was being asked about her view regarding the break-up. And it goes without saying that she was all composure and humility personified recounting the time when she had been invited to the baptism of the aforementioned dog and seen Sania on the television there. For a personal touch, we have a photo of the dog right here.

                     ( The dog’s girlfriend and her son from her previous lover insisted on being in the frame. Sorry for the inconvenience. )

Having been a part of the wet fantasies many boys and men out there, Sania’a break-up was sure to be music to the ears of many a men out there. So, I wasn’t surprised to see Sania among the top trending items in Google Trends. But what actually surprised me was that the volume of Sania Search on Google in India was no match to the volume in Pakistan. I guess its the Pakistani people’s way of saying “You don’t buy our players in IPL. Facck You all ! We’ll beat in you the damned Sania Search.” And beat us they did. I don’t think it’ll be long before one of the Pakis get hold of this fact and claim Sania as their own.

Coming back to the impending ( now un-impending (is there such a word ? )) wedding, Sania had announced that she’ll quit playing after marriage. In Mid-Day’s words, she had decided to take it one BALL at a time. Now that marriage is off the cards ( another literary lafda. Someone help me out ! ), she’ll be back to playing tennis. I guess she realized it in good time that marriage was a different ball game altogether. While this has had a largely positive effect on the aadam-jaat, some particular creatures of the homo sapien kind have been crying themselves hoarse over the fact that they had made great plans for the Sania-free future and would now have to reconcile to the reality of watching Sania play on TV again ( I am not necessarily talking about tennis here ;)  ). To all such well wishers, I would just like to point out the fact that its just a matter of time before Sania decides to marry another one of her “childhood-friends”. Till then, of course, the ball is in their court.

While Sania’s father, Imran Mirza, has gone on record stating that the split was a mutual decision, I would be surprised if we don’t see any more drama in this one. For one, the guy should certainly sue Sania for the proposed royalty fees that he was supposed to get from the above mentioned bunch of homo sapiens for not letting Sania play. He had, of course, announced before hand that “To Play or Not To Play”, would entirely be Sania’s decision. Also, the expected loss in publicity for his Universal Bakers chain, who had (rumour has it) already come up with a Sania range of bakery products, with a special cake called From One Ball To Another named especially for the marriage, can also be another reason for the sue. We, as yet, don’t know about the mental and emotional trauma that the boy has gone through. It would be calculated and added on to the sue costs.

It has been a tough beginning of the year for Sania ( as has been for the past many years ). But having seen Sania Mirza weather all crises with equal efficiency and aplomb, I can assure all her seething fans that she’ll get through this one with consummate ease and prove that she is no easy nut ( BALL ? ) to crack.

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