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Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Total Gadha - Wednesday, 29 November 2006, 10:02 PM
 

Although the following study was done in the jungle of MBA classrooms, the animals found here have traits in common with those found in other jungles. Therefore, the taxonomical results can also be extended to animals of different forests. The five broad categories are by no means the complete classification and many other sub categories can be discovered and the organisms be placed under suitable phylum.
Coxcombus Gregariosus
The common habitats of the phylum comprise seats near those of the opposite sex or any seat which makes them conspicuous in the class. The animals can often be identified by their carefully kept fair skin and long hair. Most common features include fashionable dressing and sporting of famous apparel brands, classy cell phones and trendy looks. Characteristic behaviors of the phylum include regular smoothing of hair with their hands, subconscious touching of dress or earrings, chirpy manner of talking and too much gesticulation with their hands. In a highly mutated specimen some accented slur of tone picked up from MTV or pierced ears or belly buttons can also be found. Rarely the brightest students in the class, they're still found to respond to questions in the class in various ways; wisecracks, giggles and laughter, usually addressed to the opposite sex sitting nearby. When given a test they can often be found to assume a troubled countenance, dawdling with their pen absent-mindedly and giving a carefree shrug or smile of negation when being asked the answer. Party animals all of them, they cannot wait for the class to be over so that they can crack jokes among friends, make plans of going to a restaurant, flirt with their classmates or make phone calls on their cell.
Dumbus Onerous
In a stark contrast to Coxcombus Gregariosus, Dumbus Onerous are shabbily dressed, usually found in the most inconspicuous corner of the class where they can evade the teacher's eye, and are often the quietest animals in the class. The distinctive features of the phylum include a marked lack of communication skills often accompanied with a garbled attempt at speaking English, a perpetual blank look while looking at the blackboard, a steady look at the notebook when the teacher is asking questions, a sincere jotting-down of everything a teacher says and a regular barrage of the dumbest questions asked on the most obvious parts of lessons. The most identifying animal calls of Dumbus Onerous are, "Sir, ye samajh mein nahin aaya," "Sir, ye kaise aaya?" and "Sir, please can you repeat again?" When a teacher asks if students have any doubts Dumbus Onerous are the first ones to ask questions, usually irrelevant. Other animal traits are a meek manner, being punctual in the class, working too hard at lessons.
Sharpus Gravitus
Sharpus Gravitus can be found frequenting the first or the last row of the class. Common features include a careless but neat sense of dressing, friendly manners, a concentrated look towards the blackboard and quick responses to questions posed in the class. A typical Sharpus Gravitus usually studies the course material before coming to the class, asks penetrating questions and can often be found correcting the teacher during the lecture. The only common trait Sharpus Gravitus have in common with Dumbus Onerous is that both the phylums wait after the class to talk to the teacher, whereas Coxcombus Gregariosus gets busy mingling among the opposite sex. Among the top scorers in the class, Gravitus are the first to answer the questions and submit the assignments.
Sophomorous Generalus
Cross breed between Sharpus Gravitus and Dumbus Onerous, Sophomorous Generalus display characteristics of both the phylums. Common features include a positive interest in the class, variation in performance depending on the topic, and pronounced group behaviour. Usually found sitting near Sharpus Gravitus, they can often be seen peeping in Sharpus Gravitus' notebooks or clarifying their doubts from him. They can often solve the easier questions posed by the teacher but have to enlist help of the teacher or Sharpus Gravitus for solving difficult ones. Sophomorous are mostly shy creatures and the level of participation in the class may vary from average to zero depending on the proximity to Sharpus Gravitus. The ones sitting near Sharpus Gravitus can often found to be active in the class while those sitting away and without friends are found to be so adept at camouflage that they can go unnoticed by the teacher in the jungle for a long period of time.
Disruptus Boorisus
Easy to identify by their big physical stature, bovine looks, and coarse manner of speaking. Disruptus Boorisus are a cross between a bear and a baboon. While members of other phylum usually display a respectful behaviour towards the teacher Disruptus Boorisus act surly and insolent towards the teacher and try to disrupt the class routine. Always answering the teacher's question with a cheeky remark or another question, they resist every attempt of the teacher to make them study. In a highly mutated Disruptus Boorisus a bullying attitude towards other animals in the jungle can also be found. Theyâ're often the last animals to arrive in the class.

 

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Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Veronica Lodge - Sunday, 14 January 2007, 08:35 PM
 

Hey Total,

Did you write this one? I have a coxcombus in my class. I will make him read this big grinbig grin

great work gadha. keep it up!!!!

are you a teacher by any chance?

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Total Gadha - Tuesday, 23 January 2007, 10:51 PM
 

Hi Veronica,

Yes to both questions. I teach in Delhi and I love to write. smile

Total Gadha

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by harshit bhutani - Wednesday, 31 January 2007, 01:00 AM
 

agree on wat u say that was reallyt cool

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Srihari Kasaraneni - Friday, 23 March 2007, 01:36 PM
  coooooooooool! i really can divide my whole class into these categories
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Total Gadha - Wednesday, 28 March 2007, 10:24 PM
 

Hi srihari,

Are you also a teacher? smile

Total Gadha

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by priyanka sharma - Friday, 30 March 2007, 10:33 PM
 

ha ha ha!!!!!!!!! good one TG.

I i am one of those  Sophomorous Generaluses of your class.

nice article.

priyanks.

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Total Gadha - Sunday, 1 April 2007, 08:02 PM
  hehe Priyanka..If I had written this article on seeing YOUR class I could have added a lot more varieties tongueout. Wrote this article in January 2005 to vent out my frustration after a class one day. Surprisingly, it came out as a humorous one. smile
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Karthick Palani - Friday, 25 January 2008, 12:07 PM
 

hi gadha guru,

great knowledge of zoological classification...fuuny

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Karthick Palani - Friday, 25 January 2008, 12:07 PM
 

hi gadha guru,

great knowledge of zoological classification...fuuny too.

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Gunjan Sharma - Sunday, 13 July 2008, 11:26 PM
 

smileHi TG.....

Gr8 article..... I have always been the Sharpus Gravitus of my class but I never read any chapter before class and mostly sat in the last row of the class..tongueout

I have joined ur sites few days back and found it really nice.... it reminded me of my school.. teachers there had the same friendly attitude like you.. 

Keep rocking....!!!

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by malyaz sahu - Thursday, 4 September 2008, 08:37 PM
  extremely well played .........and very humorousness and  is in its  peak.............................
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by GAURAV JAIN - Thursday, 23 October 2008, 04:07 AM
 

A sub species of the Sharpus Gravitus - Sharpus Gravitus Oberbus :

This recently discovered species, was distinct to be classified as a sub-species.

Usually has a keen sense of observation and exceptional analytical skills. Some special specimens may have a unique sense of humour and exceptional writing skills....

Now you know who I am talking of.....

Am i right TG?

 

smile

 

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by abhinav priyadarshi - Friday, 24 October 2008, 07:32 PM
 

hi T.G,

        it is not only joke but a project in itself...it was so hilarious that i couldnt stop myself laughing while rolling all over my bed with a pillow to support my aching bellysmile.... a story-of-every-student-life well told..

Fundamental question of the thread!
by hbk Not joining IIML - Wednesday, 5 November 2008, 09:43 PM
  Hi TG really good work. Since you are an expert in the field u should be able to answer this and help me out

In my school till my 12th i was a clear sharpus gravitus. But in my graduation(i'm in 3rd year)i have become a clear Sophomorous Generalus. I'm sure being amongst one of the best set of brainy classmates is no reason for this switch over.
Why have i become like this and more importantly how can switch back my original class in the kingdom ?????
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by vikram singh - Tuesday, 2 December 2008, 10:36 AM
  Nice Classification.....I'm Probably Sophomorous Generalus !!!!!
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by abhishek sinha - Thursday, 29 January 2009, 05:18 PM
 

    HI,

    Lol...while reading this interesting article...i had the entire 65 students of of class in my mindcool...While reading the each "PHYLUM",i was simultaneously trying to fit my college mates in one of the categories...(din take much time though)tongueout....I belong to the Sophomorous Generalus phylum..evil..

 

Regards,

Abhishek Sinha.

Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by Nikhil Rajagopalan - Monday, 2 February 2009, 12:29 PM
  Awesome one !!!.....
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by dhruv sharma - Saturday, 19 September 2009, 06:47 PM
  a job well done
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by bllitz blitz - Wednesday, 30 September 2009, 12:26 AM
  Hi TG,
What kinda effort should a Sophomorous Generaluses put ? Will he ever be able to clear the CAT because there would be none to help him when he gets stuck ?
Re: Total Gadha Humour- The Classification of Student Kingdom
by nitin hooda - Sunday, 26 February 2012, 07:10 AM
  Hey TG,

You cleared my long lasted doubt.

Thank you.